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Shiver

by Rain Ruin

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1.
Night bus rescue me When it becomes a burden to be free You find me at the right time I lie about my name 'Cause after this one nothing is the same It's me against the nighttime If I can't get to London There's killers on my trail If I can't get to London Darkness will prevail I have to get to London I have to be that strong If I can't get to London Then everything is gone Black dog in the night A shadow of a shadow of the light But it can't touch me inside I watch the night roll by But where I want to go I'll have to fly It's getting close to midnight
2.
I thought of what I should have said When the cord was finally severed You fell into the canyon But you never found the river You're aging your reflection You're not some precious ingenue Dreams are spoiled by coming true I was just doing my best impression of you What else could I do I never got the best impression of you Nothing you said was true Nothing you say resembles a thing you do Watching you come unglued Sitting here doing my best impression of you You moved to California And you took a break from lying And you never crushed one spirit But not for lack of trying Maybe I'm just jealous Of how the mirror looks to you The cold crept in like cancer As I kept a look out for you And you signaled the invasion Of the armies who adore you You stilled the voice inside me And for that there's no forgiving you
3.
Most mistakes I make Soon come back to haunt me I felt the morning quake My number's the same if you want me I drifted out I'm guessing I midjudged the distance to the shore And oh, nothing stays the same (Except this sad refrain) Across the water main (Tattooed with the mark of Cain) If you can't take the pain Then please don't feel ashamed To come in from the rain You breathed upon my glass And scribbled with your finger The memory only lasts In the places where we linger You were there 'Cause no one else would say that time was real or fair No one speaks a word to me as I walk through the door I'm feeling out of place and out of touch and out of form And whether you believe me doesn't matter anymore Most mistakes I make Soon come back to haunt me
4.
I See 02:55
Hold me closer, hold me closer I just can't go home Break the silence, stir the echo Pull the sword from the stone Something's wrong here, something's missing Is my cover blown Hold me closer, hold me closer I just can't be alone Every time I see your face I'm amazed You're the moonlight, you're heaven lighting this place Every time I see your face I'm amazed You're the moonlight that leads me home Something's wrong here, something's missing Someone's at the door Truth to power, truth's objective Truth is no one's whore Streptococcus, start the violence One guess what's in store Hold me closer, hold me closer I can't take any more Every time I see your face I'm amazed You're the moonlight, you're heaven lighting this place Every time I see your face I'm amazed You're the moonlight that leads me home
5.
I lost control I drifted past the center line I sold my soul Signed my name above the dotted line You rode with me On the freeway to that open door We parted ways Deserving so much less but wanting more I hope that you'll forgive me, I was desperate then And we all fall down now and again I hope that you'll believe me, it was out of my hands And we all fall down now and again Perpetuated By inertia but I should've known Infatuated With the thought of never coming home I wanted calm Now I never get to be alone But it's close enough When you soothe me on the telephone Nobody's home inside my world I'll hit the road and won't return Can't rest until I see your eyes And it's through the cracks I'm creeping at the cold light of dawn Don't know why it's calm under my skin A million miles behind me I can't see what's gone wrong But we all fall down now and again Said we all fall down now and again
6.
It's a question of keeping the ghosts out of view Though it's all just a game if the legend is true You're a Cain without Abel, a knight without dawn But I know you're a child, it's a mask you put on So I'm writing this letter to say nothing's wrong I'm forgetting the words to your mockingbird song Though I know it's a blessing, it still makes me stare When you make implications dissolve in the air In the streets of Los Angeles you hide away Just a breath of revenge on a typical day Like the song of the siren it strings me along I'm a deer in the lights of your mockingbird song It's a question of keeping the ghosts out of view Though it's all just a game if the legend is true It's the same situation, just different eyes You'll end up with the best soul that money can buy If you're stuck in a rut you could light off a bomb 'Cause you've come to the end of your mockingbird song
7.
California 03:55
Think of the time that you've been gone Think of the change that's going on All the things you hide away Think of the years before the sword This is what I've been sliding toward Somewhere else, somewhere Deep underground Deep underground Deep under Come on over to my side When I'm back from California I can't stay here forever And I need you If I thought that it mattered I'd come back from California I can't stay here without you Smash in the glass that glares at you Pick up the shards and cut right through Oh the curtain is so thin Six in the morning, I'm still up I've had it all, it's not enough So I'm left, somewhere Deep underground Deep underground Deep under
8.
Turn Away 03:18
Let the sun break through the clouds Let me turn you inside out Let the underside of time pass overhead Let the whole world crumble down It doesn't really matter now I know what I've found See the dust clouds hear the sound You take my heart, you take my time You're all that I hoped I'd never find I can't turn away from you Found a way to leave your mark Sitting lonely in the dark Never breathing air, that's never been your thing Let me question all I said I'd be Let me weigh the things you want from me I know I've got mine But we're running out of time I said I'm fine Laying the foundations of my heartbreak I'm looking up At the stars while lying on my back in the mud I don't understand Why you left me, though I wished you would I said I'm fine Dreaming slow sweet dreams of you Dreaming of you
9.
Warm 04:14
Say what you will, I'm having my day in the sun Here in the dark, what good do I do anyone Somebody told me you can't be too young, too rich or too thin Somebody told me you get out of life what you put in All I want is to be warm All I want is to be warm Here inside, I'll weather the storm It's all that I needed Take what you need, I can't see what good it does me Don't pick at the scars, the stains don't wash out easily Rest for a moment and think of the things your life has been Time won't repeat it, you'll end up deserting your own skin Blood on the pavement, don't even attempt to understand It's not where I'm headed, not even if you slip through my hands
10.
Tin Heart 03:49
Looking for a way to get out of here And you're so afraid that you'll just disappear And the water's getting higher Everybody knows what you've been through 'Cause you won't shut up when they stand next to you But at least you're not a liar You've rusted over the years As if your heart were made of tin And someone's calling you up From down beneath the floor again And it's time time time You've lost your mind mind mind And you can't find find find A way to run on empty If you only could, you'd do it all And the faster you go, the harder you hit the wall It's another way of turning Nobody can say you didn't try And you learned to walk, so maybe you'll learn to fly If you keep the fire burning You're crushed beneath their shoes As if your heart were made of tin And you keep playing, but you must know The house will always win
11.
Hey Abandon 04:17
Neon flickers as we walk down the road Sometimes nothing is the heaviest load Sickness penetrates much more than we knew I'll burn candles in the darkness for you Hey abandon Did you ever get through Hey abandon I'm inside here with you You'll accelerate and crash through my door I'll fall overboard and wash on your shore Given gravity, what more can I do I would soar across the ocean for you There's something desperate in the way that you stare You look at me as if I'm not really there We keep on dreaming up new ways to get through 'Cause I can't help but leave a light on for you Hey abandon Is it ever too far Hey abandon Now we're oceans apart
12.
Still Nina 03:04
It's snowing Let's play outside, let's make angels I promise we'll come back to play I promise we'll come back some day And I wonder What does it mean to say brother Seated on cold metal shoulders "I love you" is all I can say Nina Somewhere inside it's still Nina Drawings To show me the way that you're feeling Asleep on the floor in the evening Alive at the end of the day Good morning Remember to blow out the candles There's a look in his eyes I can't handle Rose petals all blown away Nina Somewhere inside it's still Nina Somewhere inside it's still Nina I won't let them take you away Nina Somewhere inside it's still Nina Somewhere inside it's still Nina Nina I don't want to say Goodbye

about

I made this "album" in 2005 knowing very little about home recording and only somewhat more about playing the guitar. But I'd been writing songs for about six years by that time, so I determined to record something and make people listen to it.

I still think these are some pretty good songs, worth somebody's trouble to listen to.

credits

released June 1, 2005

D.C. Simpson - Vocals, guitar, saxophone
Jim Clawson - Bass
Benjamin Yackley - Keyboard

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Rain Ruin Santa Barbara, California

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